Halcyon days....

The unprecedented summer calidity persists.  The lively sound of humans spraying each other with hoses carries over the shimmering air, and even the cacophonous dog friends next door have been tranquilised into silence for the moment. 

Today has been the last day with Accent and Wolfman.  I understand the young chap Louis is returning from his tarriance in foreign lands and will be arriving home later tonight.

Unfortunately this means an end to my blogging for the timebeing.  Accent was extremely easy to hypnotise and command to type on my behalf (unfortunately humans have not thought to make a keyboard that is dog-user-friendly as yet) however I fear the prodigal son will be somewhat more diffcult to pin down due to his voluminous social calendar.  I shall nevertheless be indubitably pleased to see him, and to progress onto the next chapter of my half-month's adventure.

Dog vs Wolf

Another intriguing interaction with the Wolfman this afternoon.  I made it a tad easier for him to find the ball today by leaving it in plain sight on the lawn, and having retrieved it he proceeded to throw it further in to the garden. Since I felt it would be rude not to run after said orb with my trademark gusto, I did just that, but once within my grasp I did not give it up again despite Wolfman's various attempts to coax it away from me. Such insistence from the humans I encounter, when I clearly have the upper hand, continues to perplex and amuse me.

 The ball is mine

In the evening my carers disappeared for a spell, after concocting a plan to acquire and consume sweet confections at a nearby Musselburgh establishment. I must admit to being somewhat disheartened that I was not invited... but alas this is one of the prices one must pay to keep a low profile.

Yum

Ruminations on the passing of time...

Slightly more comfortable atmospheric conditions today put me in philosophical mind, pondering the ephemeral nature of life and the passage of time.  I have grown fond of my daily routine and appreciate the way it marks out the diurnal course. 

Today Wolfman returned after a couple of days' absence.  He seemed entertained by running around with me in the park so I was happy to humour him.

Wolfman and Accent serenaded me with a piano duet this eventide.  I rather miss the beautiful Debussy that Madam McLeod and Accent occasionally spoil me with (my goodness how I do love those French Impressionist composers) so it was pleasing to hear the ivories tinkle for a while.  And only a smidgeon of the 'Les Dawson' as I have sometimes heard it referred to.

As the day draws to its close I am now enjoying a cool breeze by the patio door.  Good night one and all.

Hot hot hot

Another veritably incandescent day.  This has meant I've spent most of my time moving between patches of sunlight and shade, and helping my snake to stay cool and not get overheated (he is a cold-blooded reptile after all).

In a quiet moment basking in the sunlight, my thoughts turned to poetry.  I find verse refreshes the mind and soothes the soul, and during a moment of introspection I crafted a haiku...:

Grumble squelch burble

these are the diverse noises

my tum made last night.

Mad dogs and Englishmen...

Well, another calescent day here in Joppa.  This means that I have spent the bulk of the day calmly resting in silent repose, pondering life's great mysteries, such as how the McLeod matriarch obtained such a proficient ability to let vegetables deliquesce even though refrigerated.  It's really quite a skill, and one that I admire greatly. Today Accent and I observed a fine example of melted asparagus.  Most intruiging. 

For the rest of the evening I have mostly been practising yoga:

 The challenging 'frogdog' position

I find it brings one a peace of mind, inner harmony and an easy delight that can otherwise only be attained through wiping my eye bogeys on some hapless and unsuspecting human's bare leg.  Bliss.

Sphere of Influence

First day with my new temporary humans. After the standard morn activities with another member of my staff, the soaring heat of the afternoon bound in my domicile alone invited contemplation of the changing seasons.

Upon realising that Accent and Wolfman would soon be arriving, I calculated that the Ball Test would be appropriate for the occasion - an observational exercise whereby I place the spherical object I am most fond of in an uncommon location, and assess the humans' capability for finding said artifact.  I found this particular pair rather lacking in any sort of gumption or initiative, so eventually I took pity on them and distracted them with the old 'toilet roll' and 'squeaky snake' routine. This seemed to mollify them somewhat and then lo with a second wind the ball was found.

decoy squeaky snake action

 

I then proceeded to assess the ball with my oral analysis receptors,  making a full spectographic profile of the composite polymers, and was indeed able to confirm its perfect sphericalness and slaver-adhering properties.

At this point with the temperature reaching the upper echelons of bearability for such an atramentous fellow as myself, I was able to telepathically plant the idea of a seaside constitutional in the feeble brains of the humans.  My plan worked perfectly and I had a splendid swim and led them a merry chase all across the beach of Portobello.

Assessing water purity, salinity and temperature

On return, I was given a splendid dry with towels that I then proceeded to try to eat (just to observe the humans' reactions) and then settled down to an evening of cultural observation via the gogglebox.  My tests of the fart-tolerance of Homo Sapiens are ongoing.

Day 2190...

Today my regular humans depart on a sojourn abroad.  I'm really rather fond of them all and the delusions they labour under regarding who really is the most significant member of the McLeod household.  I shall miss them whilst they're away.

However, whilst they sun themselves in foreign climes, I shall be able to pursue an additional experiment in human-canine studies (as is my wont), as it transpires that I shall be getting 'looked after' (very endearing turn of phrase, as it of course is fully evident that I am in fact the one that does the looking after) by two humans who I have come to tolerate over recent years.  One, female, has an unfortunate accent, and the other (a male) is some sort of wolf-man (I feel akin to him in some respects, being hirsute myself).  I shall humour them both for the duration of their time sharing my abode, and I will appreciate the opportunity it will give me to continue my philosophical and anthropological study of the human race.

As an undercover anthropologist it is of course essential to keep my true mission secret.  I feel I have been highly effective thus far in weaving a complex web of disguise as some sort of genetically challenged idiot whose main pleasures in life are chewing cardboard and farting.  My disguise is complete and my real identity is secure I feel (humans are so stupid).  I shall use this blog as part of a temporary experiment documenting my thoughts, ruminations and hypotheses over the next few days, storing this valuable information for posterity and the good of human- and dog-kind.